I thought about those rules a lot, but I also thought more generally about how much has shifted in our culture in my lifetime and how somebody like Edith Windsor, who I wrote about, who is the plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that overturned the Defense of Marriage Act and effectively legalized same sex marriage in this country.
If she didn’t have a husband she wouldn’t have been able to eat food. The rules of “you’ve got to get married,” “you’ve got to find a husband.” God knows my grandmother, it was a matter of survival for her. I felt like that was an unbelievably lavish gift from the women’s movement to my generation, that we could be born and grow up thinking that we were full people who could do whatever we wanted. I was raised to believe that I could be the protagonist in my own life, that I didn’t have to be a mother or a wife if I didn’t want to, and that I should follow my dream, that I wanted to be a writer so that’s what I should do. Nikki Vail: How did you come up with the title of your memoir, The Rules Do Not Apply?Īriel Levy: I guess I was just thinking about how the rules that my mother - and certainly her mother - had to follow were not of any concern to me.
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